


.:Like a Sucker Punch:.

by hybridempress



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Songfic, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-12
Updated: 2015-07-12
Packaged: 2018-04-08 23:55:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4325739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hybridempress/pseuds/hybridempress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After finding a suicide note left for him by Francis, Wilhelm fears the worst, but calls his best friend anyways. Wilhelm is relieved when Francis answers the phone and must now talk him out of trying to commit suicide.</p>
            </blockquote>





	.:Like a Sucker Punch:.

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: Please remember that this Prussia differs very heavily from canon, as he is a historically-based OC created by friend using Hima's earliest sketches of Prussia.

_Bad news like a sucker punch  
What do you say?  
Air knocked out of my lungs  
Your cue to stay  
When you hear something difficult   
Don't back away  
Some people say nothing  
Good ones engage_  
~*~  
  
     _Wil,  
  
    Please assume that by the time this letter reaches your hands, and you begin to consume these words with your eyes, the breath will have already been taken from my lungs. Permanently. I'm tired, Wil. So very tired. I just want to be laid to rest at last. I'm not quite sure of my method just yet, but I promise you that it won't be painful. You will find no damage to my body externally, for I know that you always found me so beautiful. Unfortunately, I no longer see the beauty in life that I did before. All I see is nothingness. I have to go. I hope you understand that.  
  
    Please don't think that this is your fault. It's not. You are the one and only reason that I kept trying for as long as I did. I loved you dearly, and I will continue to love you even after I'm gone. You always have been, and always will be, my brother. I hope you can forgive me for what I have done.  
  
    With all my love,  
    Francis_  
  
    Wilhelm stared at the small slip of paper, terror settling in the pit of his stomach. He was, at first, paralyzed. A thousand thoughts flew through his mind all at once before finally settling on one thing; Francis was not dead. He couldn't be.   
  
    Despite what the letter in his hands had said to him, he couldn't believe it. There was no way- No way that Francis had gone through with this. He would never- He wouldn't leave Wilhelm like this. Not while he knew that Wilhelm still cared about him. He wasn't  _that_ desperate to get out. He couldn't be.   
  
    How long had it been since the letter had been written? Wilhelm hadn't seen Francis face-to-face in three days, but the letter hadn't been on Wilhelm's dining room table until he had come home from work at around five o'clock that evening. Francis had to have used the spare key that Wilhelm had given him to get into the house and leave the letter there sometime between nine o'clock that morning and now. He had to be alive still. He  _had_  to be.  
  
    Shaking his head, Wilhelm came to. He fumbled with his phone and nearly dropped it twice. Finally, he was able to find Francis' contact and call him. He pressed the phone to his ear before running a hand through his tousled hair, beginning pace to and fro.  
  
    "Francis, come on, man. Pick up..."  
  
~*~  
 _Don't turn your back on me  
Don't bury your head deep  
Just cause you don't know what to say  
  
Don't turn your back on me  
Don't bury your head deep  
Just cause you don't know what to say_  
~*~  
  
    The sound of his cellphone ringing through the near dead silence of his apartment frightened Francis. He jumped at the sudden noise, dropping the bottle of painkillers that he had just opened, and watched as they spilled out over the kitchen floor. "Damn..." he hissed softly.  
  
    He grabbed the ends of his hair and started tugging on them. Finally, four hours after having returned to his own home from leaving a suicide note for Wilhelm, he had worked up the courage to down the entire bottle of pills with an entire bottle of wine and finally get out of the hellhole that he called his life. Of course, something had to go wrong. Of course, God just felt like punishing him more, for whatever horrid reason. Who knew how long it would be before he could get the courage back again?  
  
    The phone was still ringing. It was vibrating, too. It was sitting on the dining room table. It just wouldn't  _shut up._  The sound was driving Francis crazy.  
  
    A soft growl escaped the back of Francis' throat as he glared at the device on the table. A few seconds passed before he finally decided to walk over to it, crushing the spilled pills beneath his feet as he went.  He snatched the phone up off of the table and answered it, not bothering to check the caller ID.  
  
    "What do you want?" he asked, his voice laced with raw spite.   
  
    The relief that swept over Wilhelm at that moment was overwhelming. He felt as though he would start crying with joy, knowing that his friend was still alive even though he was so terribly close to death. Still, the harshness in the other's voice caught him off guard. It had been ages since Wilhelm had heard Francis' voice sound this upset.  
  
    Swallowing hard, Wilhelm paused his pacing and furrowed his eyebrows in concern. "Francis? Hey, are you home?" He kept his voice as even as possible, but the worry was almost tangible.  
  
    Francis' heart skipped a beat when he heard Wilhelm's voice. If he had known who was calling him before he picked up the phone, he never would have touched it. Now, Wilhelm knew he was alive, and he would try to keep it that way. Francis knew that he would never be able to go through with his plan now. Not when Wil knew what it was.  
  
    Francis also swallowed thickly before speaking to Wilhelm again. " _Oui,_  I am home. Why do you ask?" he inquired, trying to sound as if nothing were wrong, but his monotonous tone betrayed his intent.  
  
    Wilhelm's head began spinning again. He was at a loss for words. There was so much he wanted to say. He just wasn't sure exactly how to say it. He picked up his pacing again and began to search for his car keys. Now that he knew Francis was at his home, he had to get there as quickly as possible, before Francis tried to go through with his plan.  
  
    "I was thinking, maybe... Maybe we could hang out? I've got that wine you like-" he began, but paused to let out a soft curse under his breath when he nearly toppled over one of his dogs. The small creature let out a soft yelp before moving away from his master quickly. Wilhelm composed himself quickly and tugged nervously at his shirt's cuff. He took a deep breath before trying to speak to Francis again.  
  
    "Ah, shit. Fran, we're friends,  _ja?_ " There it was. That little waver in his voice that he'd been holding back the entirety of this conversation. It wouldn't be long before he started crying now.  
  
    "Of course we are, Wil," Francis answered, though his voice sounded indifferent.  
  
    The lack of emotion in the Frenchman's voice through Wilhelm off again. Finally, he found his car keys on top of the wooden table by his front door. He grabbed them and stuffed them into the pocket of his jeans before heading back into his kitchen to get the bottle of wine that he had told Francis he would bring over.  
  
    "Well friends," he began, finally recovering from the shock of Francis' tone of voice, "friends talk to each other whenever something's wrong."   
  
    He grabbed the bottle of wine from the pantry and walked back towards his front door. He held his phone between his head and his shoulder and used his now free hand to grab his jacket off of the coat rack and pull it on hurriedly. "Please, Francis. Please don't do this."  
  
~*~  
 _It's true  
That it kicks you in the teeth   
When you are least expecting  
Bad news  
Oh it beats you black and blue   
Before you see it coming_  
~*~  
  
    Francis sighed and bit his lip. Every last piece of resolve that he had built up earlier was slipping away. He had to keep fighting, though. He couldn't let Wil stop him. Not this time.  
  
    "There's nothing to say, Wil. I can't... I can't keep doing this. It's the same empty feeling all day everyday. The same horrid thoughts in my mind. There's no other way to get rid of them. I have to go," he said desperately.  
  
    " _No,_ " Wilhelm said in a firm voice, bringing his fist down on the wooden door frame to emphasize his exclamation. "Francis, there is _always_  something to say, something to- To live for!" He smoothed his hand out on the door frame and started tapping his fingers against it. God, that had sounded so cheesy. How the hell was that supposed to convince Francis of anything? But he didn't know what else to say.   
  
    "Listen, I'm coming over. You can talk to me about whatever you want. Whatever you need, I'll give it to you," he said.  
  
    There was silence between the two for a moment. Francis went over Wilhelm's words again in his mind. The last bits of his resolve finally melted away, and he realized that he had given up. He was never going to be able to get out of this life. Not while Wil was still around.  
  
    Finally, Francis sighed, breaking the silence between the two men. He pursed his lips into a thin line as his eyes trailed to the spilled and crushed pills on his kitchen floor. He nodded slowly, though Wilhelm couldn't see it. "Alright... Alright, I'll be waiting right here. I won't try anything. I promise," he assured, grabbing a strand of his hair and twirling it around his finger absent-mindedly.   
  
    Wilhelm breathed a heavy sigh of relief. He ran a hand through his hair again as the tears that had been welling up in his eyes finally started to escape. "Oh thank God..." he muttered under his breath.  
  
    "Oh, and Wil," Francis began, his breath hitching, "thank you."  
  
    Wilhelm smiled faintly and let out a shaky laugh. "Anything for you,  _mein freund._  I mean that," he said, finally opening the front door and rushing out to his car. "Do you want me to stay on the phone while I'm driving? It won't take me long to get there," he asked, opening the door to his car and climbing into the front seat. He set the bottle of wine down in the passenger seat.  
  
    Francis bit his lip again and tapped his fingertips against the wood of his dining room table. Even if his house was only a few minutes away from Wilhelm's, Francis didn't want Wilhelm to be distracted from his driving by staying on the phone. Unfortunately, he also didn't want to be left alone with his thoughts right now. It was selfish, but Francis needed Wilhelm to keep talking to him.  
  
    "I-I'd like you to stay on the phone, if it's not too much trouble... I-I don't trust myself right now," he said, his voice beginning to shake. The emotions that he had blocked out and refused to let through for the last couple of hours were threatening to come through all at once, but Francis was doing his best to try and let them slip through slowly.   
  
    "Of course, Fran," Wilhelm replied softly. He pulled his phone away from his ear and put it on speaker before setting it in one of the cup holders in the console between the driver and passenger seats. He then set his car into gear and left the driveway.   
  
    "I'll be there soon, alright? It's not a long drive, and..." He gripped the steering wheel tightly with one hand and made impatient motions at the person in front of him with the other. There was a pregnant pause before he spoke again. "You're strong, Francis. The strongest person I've known in a long, long time."  
  
    Francis let out a soft, shaky laugh as he left his kitchen, walking towards his couch and sitting down on it heavily. "I wouldn't exactly call myself strong..." he muttered. "I'm a coward. If it wasn't for you, I'd have been gone a long time ago."  
  
~*~  
 _Bad news like a sucker punch blew me away  
People fill the streets like nothing has changed  
Clock hands tick along, they don't look the same  
Planes fly overhead like any old day_  
~*~  
  
    The world around Wilhelm wasn't moving fast enough for him. He felt like time was running out; like there were only a few precious minutes before Francis would change his mind and hang up the phone, and that would be the last time Wilhelm ever heard his voice again. It felt so surreal, how Francis' life was about to end, yet no one besides Wilhelm knew or cared about it. It wasn't their fault, but Wilhelm felt furious nonetheless.  
  
    "No, you're not a coward, Francis. I promise you you're not," he said, becoming impatient with the person in front of him once again and honking his horn at them. "If you were a coward then you wouldn't have hung on for this long. Even if it was only for me, I'm just the sidekick. You're still the hero, understand?"  
  
    "I don't understand how you can say that, Wil. How can you say that I'm some sort of hero when there are scars on my arms and legs from the times that I wasn't strong enough to find another way to vent my frustrations? How can you say that I am a hero when I can go through three bottles of whiskey in a day because wine isn't strong enough for me to drink myself into oblivion? I've made myself so ugly, Wilhelm. There's no reason to call me a hero," Francis said.  
  
    "You're  _my_  hero, Francis, because I know that if I was in your position, I wouldn't have been able to hold on for as long as you have. And you are still so beautiful. I am so,  _so_  proud of you. I know that you don't think there's anything to love about you, but there is. Please believe that," Wilhelm pleaded.  
  
    "God knows I'm trying to, Wil, but I just can't. No one else thinks of me that way. You're the only one," Francis said.  
  
    "Francis, I... You're not just my friend, alright? Not just my best friend, either. You're  _mein bruder!_  Don't you feel the same way about me?" Wilhelm asked.  
  
    "O-of course I do, Wil. I said so in my letter. You're  _mon frère,_  the only family I have," Francis told him.   
  
    "Then it shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks of you! I should be enough!"

~*~  
 _Don't turn your back on me  
Don't bury your head deep  
Just cause you don't know what to say  
  
Don't turn your back on me  
Don't bury your head deep  
Just cause you don't know what to say_  
~*~  
  
    Silence. Dead silence. Wilhelm's vision was becoming blurry with his tears once again and his knuckles were white because of how hard he was gripping the steering wheel. Carefully, he pulled one hand away from the wheel so that he could wipe the tears from his eyes. Thank God he was finally entering Francis' neighborhood.  
  
    Francis didn't know what to say. Wilhelm was right. He should have been enough. After all, he was the most important person in Francis' life. The one person that Francis could trust with  _everything._  He had meant it when he said that Wilhelm was his family. It shouldn't have mattered what anyone else thought as long as Wilhelm around, but Francis would be lying if he had said that he didn't care about the opinions of anyone else.   
  
    "Listen... I'm right in front of your house, okay? I'm going to hang up and come inside now. I'll be right there," Wilhelm finally said, pulling into Francis' driveway moments after.  
  
    "Sure. The door's unlocked, so you can come right in," Francis said, his voice returning to its monotonous tone from earlier.  
  
    "Okay. Thanks," Wilhelm said quietly, and hung up the phone.   
  
    He quickly turned off his car and pulled his keys out of the ignition. He got out of the car, shut the door, and locked it quickly before running down the pathway that led to Francis' front porch. His hands were shaking again when he reached for the doorknob and tried to twist it. It took him a few seconds to finally get the door open.  
  
    "Francis, Francis, I'm here-" he called out, quickly shutting the door once he was inside the house and running to the living room. When he saw Francis sitting on the couch, alive, he became overwhelmed with relief once again. He started crying, heavily but softly, as he ran to the couch and pulled Francis into his arms.  
  
    Francis gasped softly, feeling the air knocked out of his lungs with how tight Wilhelm was hugging him. He could feel the German man's tears falling onto his own neck and shivered as he listened to the other's quiet sobs. Slowly, but tightly, Francis wrapped his arms around Wilhelm and hugged him back. He started crying, as well.   
  
    "Oh thank God... Thank God you're safe..." Wilhelm whispered.  
  
~*~  
 _It's true  
That it kicks you in the teeth   
When you are least expecting  
Bad news  
Oh it beats you black and blue   
Before you see it coming_  
~*~  
  
    The two stayed locked in their tight embrace for several minutes before Wilhelm finally pulled away and cupped Francis' face in his hands. "A-are you hurt? Did you cut yourself? Is there anything that I need to help you take care of?" he asked frantically, staring at Francis worriedly.   
  
    Francis placed both of his hands over Wilhelm's, holding them against his own face and savoring the warmth that they brought to him. He closed his eyes slowly and shook his head subtly. " _Non, mon ami,_  I've done no damage to myself today," he said.  
  
    Wilhelm let out a shaky laugh and pressed a tender kiss to Francis' forehead. "Oh, I'm so glad..." he whispered, letting go of Francis' face and hugging him again.   
  
    Francis clung tightly to the fabric of Wilhelm's shirt. Both of them were just beginning to stop crying now. Unfortunately, their quiet moment of relief was briefly ruined when Wilhelm spotted the pills that had been spilled on Francis' kitchen floor.  
  
    Wilhelm pulled away from Francis quickly and grabbed his shoulders, squeezing them firmly. "Why are there pills on the floor, Francis? You promised you wouldn't try anything!" he shouted as a wave of panic swept through him, thinking that Francis must have swallowed a good portion of those pills.   
  
    "Relax, Wil. Those are from before you called me. I didn't try anything after," Francis promised. He then gave another shaky laugh and smiled wryly. "You really saved me just in time. I only dropped the bottle because I was frightened by the sound of my phone ringing," he explained, running a hand through his hair again.  
  
    Rather than soothing Wilhelm's fears, this fact seemed to distress him even more. He let go of one of Francis' shoulders and covered his mouth with his free hand. He started crying harder and shaking.   
  
    "O-oh God... God, i-if I had called just a minute later you would've taken them- You would have really been gone if I hadn't called when I did, oh God-"  
  
    Francis pulled him into another hug. "Shh, sh, Wil, i-it's okay, I-I'm right here. I-I'm not going anywhere, I promise. You saved me, that's all that matters," he whispered softly.  
  
    "But what happens if I can't save you next time, Francis? What happens if I call a minute too late? What happens if I can't stop you?" Wilhelm asked.  
  
    "There's not going to be a next time, Wil. Not as long as you're around. I love you too much to leave you behind," Francis said.  
  
~*~  
 _Maybe I just want some words of distraction  
I feel like I'm being consumed  
Maybe I'm expecting the perfect reaction  
To pull me back_  
~*~  
  
    "I... Fran, I-I left the wine in my car... Let me go get it, and we can break it open and have a drink, and you can talk to me about everything. You can't keep your feelings bottled up anymore," Wilhelm said.   
  
    Francis let go of Wilhelm slowly and nodded. " _Oui,_  alright. That sounds nice," he agreed.   
  
    Wilhelm smiled faintly and wiped his eyes before standing up from the couch. He quickly ran out of the living room and to the front door. He opened it and didn't bother to close it as he ran outside and to his car. He grabbed his keys out of his pocket and fumbled with them for a moment before finally getting his car unlocked. He opened the passenger side door and grabbed the bottle of wine out of it. He shut the door, locked the car, and ran back into Francis' house.   
  
    He shut the front door and walked back into the living room, but didn't stop at the couch. He kept walking towards the kitchen. "Keep sitting. I'll pour it and bring it to you, alright?" he said to Francis.   
  
    Francis nodded in response. "Alright. Thank you," he said.  
  
    Wilhelm set the bottle down on the kitchen counter as soon as he was able to. He then walked over to one of the cabinets and opened it, scanning the shelves until his eyes settled on the wine glasses, and he removed two of them from the cabinet. He brought the glasses over to the counter and set them down near the bottle. He picked up the bottle, opened it, and began pouring two glasses of wine. He put the bottle down, picked the glasses up, and brought them back to Francis.  
  
    Wilhelm sat beside Francis once again and handed one of the glasses to him. Francis took it gratefully and took a sniff of the wine before holding the glass to his lips and taking a small drink. He closed his eyes again and hummed in satisfaction at the taste. Wilhelm knew him well enough to buy his favorite brand. Francis would have to pay him back for that somehow.   
  
    Wilhelm also took a small sip of his wine before trying to talk to Francis again. "You know I hate to break up the peace so fast, but Francis, we really have to talk about what made you want to do this... Please, Francis, I know you've tried to explain your depression to me before, but you always leave out so many bits and pieces. I need the whole story, Francis. For real this time," he urged.  
  
    Francis sighed and took another long drink of the wine in his glass. "I... You know it's a long story, Wil," he said, frowning.  
  
    "I don't care how long it is, Fran. I'm not leaving until you've told me everything," Wilhelm insisted.   
  
    Francis paused for a moment and ran his hand through his hair again, not quite sure where to begin. When had this depression started, anyways? He'd been living in hell for years now. He could barely remember what had set it off.   
  
    "The beginning doesn't matter, Wil. You know that I've been struggling like this for years. You know that it all started when Lisa left and took Matthew from me. I can't remember what happened after that," he finally said.   
  
    Wilhelm sighed softly. "Alright, alright, maybe I don't need to know the  _whole_  story. Just... Just tell me what pushed you over the edge..." he pleaded.  
  
    Tears began to well up in Francis' eyes again. He bit his lip and began to tug on the ends of his hair again. It really had been something terrible that had pushed him to this attempt.   
  
    "I-I... I ran into some women yesterday on my way home from work. Th-they were some of Lisa's old friends. I-I hadn't seen any of them in years, but they were just standing on the sidewalk and talking to each other while I was walking home from work and they saw me and they just- Attacked me," Francis explained.  
  
    Wilhelm's eyes widened. "Wait, what?" he asked, shocked.   
  
    "They just started saying all these awful things to me, just reminding me of everything that Lisa had ever thought was wrong with me and why she left me. Th-they were telling me that they still kept in contact with her and that Matthew was growing up just fine without me, that he doesn't even know who I am! A-and I tried to forget about them, I tried to tell myself that nothing they said was true, but I knew it had to be...! A-and I just couldn't deal with those thoughts anymore! I can't, I can't-" Francis started crying again.   
  
    Wilhelm pulled him into a hug again, rubbing his back momentarily before starting to play with his hair. He whispered sweet nothings to Francis and kissed the top of his head, trying to get him to calm down. When Francis' loud sobbing had been reduced to soft crying, Wilhelm tried to speak again.   
  
    "Francis, I know this is so, so hard for you... There isn't a way that I could possibly understand it, ever. But Lisa was a very stupid woman and her friends are heartless. Nothing that Lisa thinks about you is or ever was true. And I know that it's so hard for you to know that you have a son who probably doesn't even know your name, but he will someday... I promise you that, okay?" Wilhelm assured.  
  
    "H-how can you promise something like that, Wilhelm? I've no idea where he or Lisa lives, and Lisa will never let me see him if she can help it. I'm never going to get to see him again and he's never going to know who I am!" Francis cried.  
  
    Wilhelm pulled away from Francis and grabbed him by the shoulders again. "No, Francis, I'm going to help you find them!"  
  
~*~  
 _It's true  
That it kicks you in the teeth   
When you are least expecting  
Bad news  
Oh it beats you black and blue   
Before you see it coming_  
~*~  
  
    Francis stared at Wilhelm with wide eyes. "B-but how...?" he asked, not sure what else to say.  
  
    "We can track them down, Francis. It can be done. You have just as much right to Matthew as she does, if not more so. Ludwig works with the police. I can ask him for help. We can find them and you can see Matthew again. I promise you will," Wilhelm told him.  
  
    Francis wiped his eyes roughly and stared at Wilhelm, giving him an almost ironic smile. "I-I don't... Know what to say... I-I can't..." he stuttered, but Wilhelm cut him off.  
  
    "Francis, you don't need to say anything. For now... For now, you just need to rest, okay? You've had a long day. Both of us have. Just... Try to keep your mind off of it for now. I'll stay with you tonight, okay? I'll make dinner and we can have some more wine and watch some movies. Does that sound good to you,  _bruder?_ " Wilhelm asked.  
  
    "I..." Francis paused for a moment, then nodded subtly. " _O-oui,_  that sounds nice... I'd like that a lot..." he whispered.   
  
    Wilhelm smiled softly. " _Sehr gut._  Now, what would you like for dinner?" he asked.  
  
    Francis shrugged. "I don't know. I'm not that hungry. I don't think I can eat much," he said.  
  
    Wilhelm pursed his lips from a moment and rubbed Francis' back. "Don't worry. I'll make something light then. Do you have any lunch meat in your fridge?" he asked.  
  
    Francis nodded. "Some ham and roast beef, I think," he replied.  
  
    Wilhelm smiled again. "Great. I'll just make some of that special marinade you like so much and put the ham in it. We'll have sandwiches," he said.  
  
    "Sounds great," Francis said, also smiling softly. Wilhelm kissed his forehead once again before standing up and going to the kitchen to start dinner.  
  
~*~  
 _It's true  
That it kicks you in the teeth   
When you are least expecting  
Bad news  
Oh it beats you black and blue   
Before you see it coming_

**Author's Note:**

> Well then, here's my first contribution to APH France Week on Tumblr! I have a plan to upload five new fanfictions and two older ones during the course of this week. I just hope I'll be able to get all of my writing done in time.
> 
> Anyways, this this fanfic is based off of an RP that I had with my friend Emily sometime last year. We never finished it, but I loved it so much that I saved all of the replies so that I could write a fanfic about it later. Because of this, most of the dialogue and even some of the descriptive sentences were taken directly from the RP replies and pasted into this fic. 
> 
> The ending is a little lackluster. I do apologize for that, but our RP only makes up about half of this fic and I had to improvise the rest. I'm happy to say that this fic is good enough to be able to stand alone without the lyrics that I added to it, but the lyrics do belong to the Bastille song "bad_news". If you haven't heard it before, you should check it out sometime. It's a really nice song.
> 
> Anyways, thank you guys for reading this, and hope you have a good France Week!


End file.
